Series Nº 16645 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Advertiser

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

ad·ver·tis·er (n.):
1. a professional liar;
2. a pathological liar who has worked out how to make money from the skill.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, advertiser, advertising, liar, lie, pathological, professional
Series Nº 16644 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Marketer

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

mar·ket·er (n.):
a person who lacks the self-respect to call themself an advertiser.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, marketer, advertise, advertising, charlatan, market, sell
Series Nº 16643 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Evangelist

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

e·van·ge·list (n.):
a person who has lost the ability to think independently for themself.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, evangelist, advertise, evangelize, market, preach, sell
Series Nº 16276 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Meritocracy

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

mer·i·to·cra·cy (n.):
a system preferred by those who already know that they’re going to win.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, meritocracy, experience, merit, power, system, talent
Series Nº 16275 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Expert

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

ex·pert (n.):
1. someone who mistakenly thinks that they know more than you do;
2. someone who realizes that they know less than you do, but is unwilling to admit it.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, expert, charlatan, fake, fraud, ignorant, knowledge
Series Nº 16271 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Insurance

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

in·sur·ance (n.):
you pay us repeatedly now for the privilege of denying your claim later.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, insurance, claim, coverage, deny, money, privilege
Series Nº 16270 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Identity Thief

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

i·den·ti·ty thief (n.):
1. social media network;
2. credit reporting agency;
3. search engine;
4. online retailer;
5. cellular network;
6. almost everything online;
7. Just change all of your passwords. Now.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, identity thief, cellular, credit report, retailer, search engine, social media
Series Nº 16269 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Human Being

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

hu·man be·ing (n.):
1. a special disposable type of corporation with no intrinsic economic value, but with full liability for everything that goes wrong;
2. an economic unit with no intrinsic value, except for its current assets and holdings.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, human being, corporation, disposable, economic, human, intrinsic
Series Nº 16268 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Economics

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

ec·o·nom·ics (n.):
1. a field of study obsessed with explaining how irrational humans act rationally;
2. a convenient excuse for moral people to do immoral things, all while claiming to be purely amoral;
3. a method used by people to act immorally – claiming that if they didn’t do so, everyone else would.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, economics, amoral, immoral, irrational, moral, rational
Series Nº 16267 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Corporate Responsibility

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

cor·po·rate re·spon·si·bil·i·ty (n.):
conspicuously advertising that you give 1% of your profits to charity, while you pocket the remaining 99%.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, corporate responsibility, altruism, charity, conscience, ethics, profit
Series Nº 16266 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Consumer

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

con·sum·er (n.):
customers that a business has so little respect for, that it refers to them as consumers.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, consumer, business, company, customer, economics, respect
Series Nº 16265 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Communism

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

com·mu·nism (n.):
an economic system preferred by people who don’t like overachievers.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, communism, economics, money, overachiever, public, wealth
Series Nº 16263 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Philosophy

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

phi·los·o·phy (n.):
1. helping you make others look dumber since the beginning of civilization;
2. a discipline to help understand why others are dumber than you;
3. helping delude you into assuming that you’re less dumb than other people since you thought you started learning the subject.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, philosophy, civilization, dumb, dumber, intelligence, knowledge