Dictionary

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. You know what we’re speaking about: George Orwell wrote about it. And if you don’t know, then just pretend that you do. The Uselesstuff® Dictionary presents a selection of words and their unspoken definitions for your buying pleasure (whatever that means).

Part Three

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Internet

Series Nº 16686

in·ter·net (n.):
1. a virtual world where the misinterpretation of a single statement can ruin your entire life;
2. a method of writing for those too lazy to write.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Constitution

Series Nº 16687

con·sti·tu·tion (n.):
an incomplete document that doesn’t guarantee you some of the rights that you take for granted.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Money

Series Nº 16688

mon·ey (n.):
a substance so addictive that it’ll cause you to say and do things that you wouldn’t believe.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Web Analytics

Series Nº 16689

web an·a·lyt·ics (n.):
online stalking.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Cookie

Series Nº 16690

cook·ie (n.):
a baked good studded with chips that follows you around the internet.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Cookie Monster

Series Nº 16691

cook·ie mon·ster (n.):
any online service that insists on following you around the internet without your knowledge or permission.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Airline

Series Nº 16692

air·line (n.):
a modern torture device currently not covered by the Geneva Conventions.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Airplane Seat

Series Nº 16693

air·plane seat (n.):
a modern torture device currently not covered by the Geneva Conventions.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Original

Series Nº 16694

or·i·gi·nal (adj. & n.):
doing something that others don’t yet know has been done already.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Incentivize

Series Nº 16695

in·cen·tiv·ize (v.):
1. inspire; failing that,
2. encourage; failing that,
3. bribe; failing that,
4. threaten; failing that,
5. blackmail someone into doing what you want.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Socal Media

Series Nº 16723

so·cal me·di·a (n.):
1. Hollywood;
2. the ‘San Fernando Valley’;
3. both of the above;
4. That other ‘industry’ in the Valley that Hollywood doesn’t like to talk about.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Famous

Series Nº 16867

fa·mous (adj.):
infamous.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Friend

Series Nº 16868

friend (n.):
1. somebody online that you almost certainly don’t know;
2. somebody in real life that you actually know (archaic term, no longer in use).

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – tl;dr

Series Nº 16879

t·l;d·r (abbr.):
1. a term for people too lazy to find out what it means;
2. a term for people too lazy to….

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Flammable

Series Nº 16882

flam·ma·ble (adj.):
inflammable.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Viral

Series Nº 16883

vi·ral (adj.):
1. an online contagion;
2. a communicable disease on the internet.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Disrupt

Series Nº 16884

dis·rupt (v.):
1. relentless optimism in the face of stark reality;
2. forcibly improving others’ lives, whether they like it or not;
3. trying to improve civilization while wilfully ignoring the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Apathy

Series Nº 16885

ap·a·thy (n.):
1. ‹definition goes here.›;
2. Hmmm… uhhh… …….

Part Three