Posts tagged sell
Series Nº 16677 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Social Media

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

so·cial me·di·a (n.):
1. you do all of the work, while we make all of the money;
2. a company that knows more about you than you do about yourself;
3. a place for telling the whole world about personal problems that you’d never tell your closest family and friends;
4. a company that willingly sells your personal information to literally anyone.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, social media, information, media, privacy, sell, social
Series Nº 16662 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Real Estate Agent, Realtor

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

re·al es·tate a·gent, re·al·tor (n.):
someone you pay to help sell your house at an inflated price, only to realize that you’ll have to pay them again to buy another house that you can no longer afford.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, real estate agent, realtor, house, land, property, sell
Series Nº 16660 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – But Wait… There’s More!

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

But wait… there’s more! (phr.):
No… there isn’t.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, but wait there's more, advertise, commercial, market, nope, sell
Series Nº 16644 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Marketer

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

mar·ket·er (n.):
a person who lacks the self-respect to call themself an advertiser.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, marketer, advertise, advertising, charlatan, market, sell
Series Nº 16643 – Uselesstuff® Dictionary – Evangelist

All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.

e·van·ge·list (n.):
a person who has lost the ability to think independently for themself.

Andrew Keith Straussuselesstuff, useless, parody, dictionary, evangelist, advertise, evangelize, market, preach, sell