Politics

Politics is really very simple: you’re right, and everyone else is wrong. And since this is true for everyone, then everyone is right. See how easy that was? Now if only someone would work out a solution for all the gross inequalities and injustices that plague the world today. In the meantime, you can always buy one of our useless designs. Or if you’re feeling generous, buy more than one. Your purchase is a vote of confidence in just how useless Uselesstuff® stuff really is.

I Vetoed

Series Nº 16755

Are you President of the United States of America, or Governor of one of our fifty Great States? Are you endlessly frustrated by all of that pesky legislation that lawmakers keep passing, and then sending to you for your signature of approval? Then don’t worry: we have the perfect solution for you.

With just one act, you can wipe those smug looks off the faces of millions of voters parading around on Election Day wearing those puny oval I Voted stickers. Simply buy our vastly superior I Vetoed design, a painstaking restoration of the original classic.

Our design is so powerful that it can instantaneously neutralize the effect of tens of millions of those irritating I Voted stickers. You may think you’re in control, but buying our I Vetoed design will make what’s left of the electorate know who’s really in charge. Now available forever in an Exclusive Limited Edition*.

Remember to buy early, and buy often. Because that’s the real American spirit.

[* When we say Exclusive, we mean for sale to residents of the Universe only. And when we say Limited Edition, we mean less than infinity.]

I Voted

Series Nº 16756

The United States is the greatest democracy in the world. That’s why so few Americans feel the need to vote. For those that do, their reward is most important prize that our nation can bestow: the I Voted sticker.

But what about everyone else? How can a nation so dedicated to civil rights deny its most vulnerable citizens their own I Voted stickers? Fortunately, we have a solution.

We’ve taken classic original oval I Voted sticker design, and painstakingly restored it to its former glory. We’ve taken great care to retain the spirit of the original design, preserving all of its quirks and flaws.

However, we’ve made it even more patriotic by printing it using the official federal color specifications for Old Glory Red and Old Glory Blue. So now when you proudly display the Red, White, and Blue, you can be guaranteed that you’re displaying the correct Red, White, and Blue. It doesn’t get better than that.

America is all about choice. Not satisfied with just one option, we offer five distinct designs. After all, saying that you didn’t vote is less important than saying precisely why you didn’t vote. And there’s nothing more American than that.

Remember to buy early, and buy often. Because that’s the real American spirit.