All words have meaning. There are formal definitions that you’d find in a reputable dictionary. And then there are the real definitions: the ones that remain unspoken. That’s why the Uselesstuff® Dictionary exists.
brand (n. & v.):
a method of selling yourself to others that scars them for life.
Are you surrounded by people who hold you in low regard? Then this design is for you. Because even if they call you useless, they’ll still be complimenting you. Recommended for anyone with a slight inferiority complex.
Ever since our designs became so overwhelmingly popular, we’ve noticed that others have been selling cheap knock-off copies. So before buying anything, ask yourself this question: why spend less for an inferior counterfeit, when you can pay full price for the genuine counterfeit instead? Always insist on the real imitation.
Tired of paying money to famous companies for the privilege of being their walking billboard? Why not pay us instead? Not only do you get a logo, but there’s also an object attached. Plus, there’s an added bonus: by proudly displaying the word ‘useless’, other people will automatically lower their expectations of you. So no matter what you do, you’ll always be a success.
Tired of paying money to famous companies for the privilege of being their walking billboard? Why not pay us instead? Not only do you get a logo and catchy slogan, but there’s also an object attached. Be the envy of your family, friends and colleagues as they wonder what a ‘uselesstuff’ is. Did we mention that there’s a catchy slogan?
Tired of paying money to famous companies for the privilege of being their walking billboard? Why not pay us instead? Not only do you get a logo, but there’s also an object attached. Be the envy of your family, friends and colleagues as they wonder what a ‘uselesstuff’ is.
